Category Archives: writings

Wrecked

wrecked. Drawn by me.

Reference is oil painting by great Théodore Géricault.A depiction of a shipwreck man…( http://www.conceptualfinearts.com/cfa/2014/10/15/frieze-master-2014-a-step-forward-into-quality/dsc_6959/ ) You can feel the suffering,misery,desolation,hopelessness in his extraordinarily expressive painting,not only this one of course ,in all of them,different characters manages to haunt the viewers in very different ways…
So in this terrible world we are living in,almost everyday migrants die in Mediterranean.Mainstream media degrades them to numbers, drowning is almost normalized.Some consider this is not even newsworthy. Announcers don’t even deign to think that they were just like everyone,had hopes,dreams,they loved someone…besides this, why were they escaping,why were/are they risking their lives?Who are directly or indirectly responsible for this tragedy?Indeed,who aren’t…What the imperialism,cooperations oil contracts have done to their home…Actually it’s wrong to use pronoun ‘them’,they are us indeed.I’m not any different from them.Will ever humanity take precedence over politics?I don’t know…For now I see no civilisation,and humanity is “wrecked”..And my words are only words,do not contribute to anything.I hate the way the world ignore and exploit lives and then distractes themselves with pretty things 😦

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Personal…

I guess it was on August 2 when I had to go to hospital because of extreme vertigo, continuous vomitting and unceasing disturbing contractions which have lasted for 2 days….I was even unable to move my head nor able to speak as it only deteriorated the situation…As a result I was diagnosed with “Meniere’s disase”…
With the help of the drugs the symptomps have relatively reduced,yet for the couple of days I’ve avoided whatever takes attention and concentration;reading,drawing,doing household chores,watching sth.etc.Spent hours doing almost nothing.Then a few days later started to feel better and I thought all this nightmare is over.

Something I drew when I felt good “Conversationconversation.

 

However on August 11 the Meniere’s attacks came back with overwhelmingly annoying contractions again ,it was so unbearable that I had the surreal feeling that it will never end…All in all, part of the contractions turned out to be an allergic reaction to one of the drugs…Now I’m out of hospital and fortunately feeling a lot better,I only wish somebody to tell me it will never come back,and consequently will be able to bury all those prolonged pain in the past 🙂 because I no longer have stress-resistant personality,just want to act like that nothing has happened …and finally will be able to live normal life again, draw again(which is extremely crucial 🙂 )
Thank you all for your support and reading this…Have a good life 🙂


Conversation with the connecting place

(sth i wrote last year )
These lines below, which reminds the “rusted trace of a pin” (this resemblance does not belong to me ) brought me to this confused state of mind …
“…… the way an armchair faces the wall/in a world where revolting is delimited/flows…/like some blood prosecuted…” ( Turgut Uyar)

-you are livid
+ I’m actually bleeding.
– verbal vein bleeding?
+ You are not able to include yourself.
-Pins are being tacked into the places of the recent dead.
+the place of connection…now what is connecting?
-You know what is buried inside of you.
+Do not use the ready-made judgments and conclusions.
-Is there something you want to protect?
+ Pins do not behave differently than their connecting places…
-It’s a many sided word.
+Pins make you bleed when they go deeper.
-and those”connecting” places evolve.
+ without a receiver and without an order.
-why some places are “pinless”,if those gaps are not going to be filled, why do they exist?
+ knowing “WHAT” is the weapon of this?
-Images are changing in my fictions…2-16
+ It doesn’t work as long as there is no patience and serenity.
-Words are erasing themselves.
+which are not in the flashlight…
-and they become corners; the unsaid,unnoticed feelings?
+Name the disease inside of you.
-This “bleeding” is the anniversary of what?
+I am not offering you something.
-I never wanted to get involved,but never managed to run away.
+You could only go as far as those connecting places let you go.
-Was there any corner which hosted the bad coincidences?
+It is not about diagnosing..what was it before…don’t you know?
-Sediments are shadowing.
+The death are on your mind now,others are absent?
-Every part of me is absent.
+That is a sorrow,opposite to the familiar
(to be continued…)